Boss is Constantly Picking on You: Why and What To Do

by Emma • Wed, 02 Aug 2023 07:08AM
Dealing with Bullying at Work: When the Boss is Constantly Picking on You

Dealing with a boss that’s constantly picking on you can be emotionally and professionally draining. Learn why bosses may bully, how to cope with the situation, and steps to address the issue. Prioritize your safety and find resources to navigate this challenging situation effectively to create a more positive work environment.

It is common for employees to avoid unfavorable conflicts in the workplace by striving to make the higher-ups happy. You don't want to have problems at work with your boss. In fact, engaging with your boss wouldn't be difficult if they display many positive traits. However, not all people are lucky to work with such an excellent boss. Some bosses bully and enjoy looking down on their subordinates.

The ideal situation would be that a boss should play a role model and set an example at work instead of initiating a conflict. However, data shows that approximately 41 percent of direct managers and external managers are likely to be bullies of their subordinates in the workplace. There will be tremendous negative effects on the work environment and culture when the workplace is dominated by toxic bosses. These effects include high turnover, poor productivity, and a lack of motivation and enthusiasm for the job.

If you are currently in a situation where a toxic boss bullies you at work, you might be thinking about changing jobs. You might also be thinking about finding a better work culture in another organization. This, however, is easier said than done - especially when you work for an ideal company that provides good job security, retirement, perks, and benefits. You must weigh the pros and cons and consider whether you will leave, or stay at your current company while finding a way to cope with your boss.

This article will discuss the issues surrounding a bullying boss. Starting with why a boss can be a bully, how bad the situation you're in, and what to do next.

Why Does Your Boss Pick on You? 

You might be wondering why you are treated badly or whether your boss doesn't want you around. First, let's explore some speculation on the reason why your boss picks on you and see if some applies to your boss.

  • Maybe your boss is in a terrible mood and they take the frustration out on a ‘safe’ target (i.e. their employee, a.k.a you) rather than the real source of his anger. 
  • Maybe your boss has been manipulating people for their own advantage. For example, not properly credit the team on a project and take all appreciation for themselves.
  • Maybe your boss is a passive-aggressive communicator - thus they stay quiet and hope that people around them magically figure out the problem without them having to explain it. 
  • There is a great chance that your boss feels insecure when others perform better. This is because they may be afraid of being challenged or replaced, so they subconsciously try to control those around them by being a bully or picking on people. This can sometimes lead to misunderstandings and confusion.

What To Do If Your Boss Picks on You? 

First of all, before doing anything about it, reflect on the situation. Make sure your boss doesn't pick on you because you're an underachiever at work. If your boss picks on you because of your low work performance, try not to take it personally. Instead, have a professional conversation with your boss about this matter.

Take responsibility for any shortcomings, and commit to improving your performance. Be honest about your feelings towards their bullying behavior and tell them that you prefer constructive feedback in the upcoming process. Finally, try to work on this for some time and see if there's any development in your boss's behavior towards you. Because bullying in the workplace is still wrong and cannot be tolerated.

On the other hand, if you are sure that your boss intentionally picks on you or bullies you without any work-related issues, it's critical to respond to the situation right away. Being bullied drains your energy faster. It is emotionally and professionally exhausting. If this continues, it can create an uncomfortable, hostile work environment and lead to further problems.

In case your boss constantly bullies or picks on you, here are some things you can do.

Stay Calm and Maintain Professionalism

While it's natural to feel angry or upset when you are being bullied, it is important to stay calm and avoid engaging in any behavior that might worsen the situation. The emotional reaction can be taken as a sign of weakness. It would be best if you showed that you are not easily swayed by bullying and are still able to stay professional and continue to perform in your job.

Document the Bullying Incidents

To open ways for accurate follow-up, start to keep a comprehensive record of each bullying incident. You can do this by writing down what happened, completed with dates, times, locations, who was present, and the specifics of what occurred.

Seek Help and Support

If you're feeling overwhelmed or stressed, try to talk to someone you trust. it can be a friend or family member, or maybe someone within the company. Having a trusted colleague knowing about the situation can help to cope with the emotions that arise. The trusted colleague can also serve as a witness if needed.

Look at Formal and Legal Action Options

Bullying in the workplace is a serious problem that many people have encountered, so you need to know that there are several resources to go through it.

For example, most companies have a formal grievance procedure to follow if you are being bullied in the workplace. Familiarize yourself with your organization's policies and procedures regarding this issue. Find out the guidelines to report such issues and the steps they will take to address the issue.

If you find difficulties, try to reach out to your HR to discuss your concerns and report the incident. Professionals from Human Resources Department should have the ability to handle such issues impartially.

If it's not working, you can try to seek help from a union representative or professional association that represents your industry. Also, there must be local labor laws and regulations that address workplace harassment. to understand this better, you can consider talking to a lawyer to help you understand your legal rights and options. This can help empower you to make informed decisions about how to handle the situation.

Request a Meeting or Mediation Session

If you have already been informed about your rights and are in an emotionally stable condition, you can try to request a meeting with your boss to talk about the bullying. Explain how specific kinds of behavior make you feel and ask them to stop.

If you're not comfortable doing so, you can try to propose a mediation session involving yourself, your boss, and a neutral third party, such as a senior manager or HR representative. Another option is to arrange a meeting with your boss's supervisor or another manager to ask for advice and follow-up.



If you have already tried all of these steps and the situation remains unchanged, there is no appropriate action from the higher-ups or HR, and it affects your well-being and career growth, you can consider some final actions. If necessary, escalate the matter to the legal authorities depending on the severity and local laws. Also, consider updating your resume and exploring your options for other job opportunities.

All in all, try to prioritize your safety and well-being. You should not be afraid to take the necessary steps to ensure you are in a better place. Remember, you always have the option to move on and find a better job that fits your needs. Seek out employers that provide a positive work environment and prioritize employee health and safety. You deserve to work somewhere healthy and conducive to your growth. So take the time to reflect and decide what is best for you. Don't be afraid to embrace risks and make positive changes.


Also Read: 3 Functions that Make a Great Leader in This Challenging and Evolving Era

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